ROAR

Ok, time to stop whining, I just read my last couple of posts. I mean really!!! I have a wonderful man, a caring family and I hit the in-law jackpot. The people I love are happy and healthy. A little chaos never killed anyone. Besides, Elvis is my DJ. When Elvis is your DJ the world is a cool place.

Oh how awkward!

You ever talk about something thinking that you're out of earshot only to find out later that you weren't? I think the only thing worse than that is to not be SURE if you were overheard.

The in-laws are in and I was commenting to Ian about something that they own that is hideous...so hideous that it's almost fashionable. I'm not sure if they were asleep or not, I'm not sure if they heard me or not, I'm just not sure. So now I have to live with my paranoid awkwardness. Where's the sand?

Ian is out with the boys tonight. He's spending the night. This is troublesome for two reasons. 1) I could really use a good snuggle. 2) The reason he's staying over is because he's trying out a new potential commute. If it goes well I may be moving on top of trying to get married. Because I'm indecisive, ambivalent and insane.

I hate feeling vulnerable. I want strong Angela back. I am Angela, hear me roar. ROAR. RROOAARR.

It's raining shoes

I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next month. Everyone told me that a wedding is stressful and i said NAH we love each other. We can't wait to get married. Well now Ian is having a meltdown, my inlaws are arriving this afternoon and my stomach has forgotten how to do everything but void whatever I take in.

I could hold it together if Ian was ok. Every time I look at him I'm wondering if he's wondering if he made a mistake. I don't want to ask him because 1) I'm afraid of the answer and 2) if you don't acknowledge bad things they go away. Hrm...that might be why shoes are always hitting me in the head!

I guess we can add to this that I picked now to clean out my closets with my therapist and Ian is considering having us move. Like this month. I think there's a limit to the amount of stress one body can handle. Certainly a limit to the amount one soul can handle.

Work is stable and that's about the only thing right now. I almost wish it was chaotic to distract me from the horror of a roller coaster my life has become.

Wild Out Wednesday

Hello everyone what's new? :)

Today is "Wild Out Wednesday" as one of my less balanced clients used to say. Actually, it's just the night that Ian goes out to hang out with the boys and I get to hang out with no bra. I just wish there was better television.

Work has been slow this week, so I got out early. I had to see Doc Hollywood about a cyst that's been bothering me. He did his voodoo and gave me a lecture on stress management. He also gave me some meditation techniques that were elementary and mildly helpful. Then he gave me this little gem of a tip...

When you have a cyst the best non-medical thing to do is bring it to a head. Gross, I know. It will take care of yourself, and then you don't have to go through what I went through today. To do this you apply hot compresses. I did this, it didn't help much. Where's the gem you say? Instead of using a wash cloth you use a wet piece of hot bread. Yep, hot soggy bread wrapped in a paper towel. Holds the heat better. I tried it before...felt like Bill Nye the Science Guy.

In other news, I'm finishing the paperwork for my professional license. I tried to get my exact date of graduation from a county college I attended a trillion (ok 5) years ago. They turned me onto Degreeverify.org. It was simple to use and I got my exact dates of attendance, status for each semester (full/half time) and date of graduation and degree earned. It was easier than digging through my records, and they only charged me a minimal convenience fee.

Ian is still looking for work, but things are progressing. Everyone keep their fingers crossed. I don't want to be homeless before I have a home!

I joined a book club, but more about that later. More later about the fact that Dumbledore is gay too...I have some things to say on that. More later on a lot of things...I'm going to go find some chocolate. WILD OUT WOMEN!!!!

Blogs I like to read

I like to read blogs to see what people are up too. There are a few I read daily. The first is a guy I knew in college. He's off taking on the world. He's going to be famous someday. His insights amuse me. They also make me think.

This blog indulges my naughtier side. This chick knows how to tell it like it is. She doesn't hold back and she's very raw. It's a refreshing read when she's on her game.

This guy has some witty commentary on the issues of the day.

I have had different blogs throughout the years, and from time to time I may update this with some old posts. We'll see if I wrote anything I still consider worthwhile.

Power of the media

There is little power in this world like the power of the media. It influences everything we do. Like anything else that power can be harnessed for good or evil. I particularly like it when it's used to knab the bad guys. I'm a big fan of America's Most Wanted. I'm also very grateful that this little girl is safe.

I don't understand these monsters. I work with kids who are abused every day. God forgive me but I can ALMOST, if I stretch my imagination to the very farthest corners of the universe, understand how a grown man can be attracted at a glance to a young teenager. It's sick. There's no excuse for it. The part of the brain that says, oh crap, she isn't 18 is obviously missing. I don't understand assholes who troll the internet looking for girls who are underage. I can't begin to comprehend how a monster can violate a 3 year old.

I hope this guy rots from the inside out, or the outside in. Whatever is more painful. No, I don't think rehabilitation is possible. That's not a professional opinion. It's a common sense one. Something is very very very wrong. That something might even make this individual and individuals like him non-human.

How sad...

How sad is it that my last post was May 17th?
Ah well, life is what happens when you're busy planning other posts.

A lot HAS happened since then, I must say. Contrary to the theme of this post, much of it was very good.

In June my fiance and I had our engagement party. I was a wreck. I'm marrying into a Jewish family that runs the gammot from non-practicing to conservative. I've never met anyone outside of his immediate family. I think it's safe to say that most enjoyed my company. At least I haven't heard otherwise. The shoe dropped the morning of the party when I got the call that my uncle had passed away. He is a man by which I put a lot of stock and respect. He will be missed and I can only be satisfied that his suffering was short lived. He is survived by many who mourn him and are greatful to have known him.

August held a wedding, and no, it wasn't mine. My younger brother got married to a young woman who I have watched grow from an awkward late-adolescent to a beautiful, self-assured and brilliant lady. She has taken my brother by the hand and helped him navigate where I could not. She has my undying devotion and respect.

The wedding was beautiful and attended by a network of family and friends who truly support and love my brother. It was a hectic lead-in, as there were only three months or so to plan and pull off the wedding of the season. The bride and her family did a superb job. I got a shoe on the head with my bridesmaid's dress, but in the end everyone looked fabu. I wore my Target shoes so that I didn't fall on my arse. The strappy sandals I paid way too much for were pushed to the back of the closet. Three inch heels are great for soho and the bedroom, but suck when standing for an hour.

In July I moved in with my fiance. That was a big transition. The hardest part, perhaps, was remembering to say "I'm going home" rather "I'm going to his place." The shoe dropped in late August when after my first two-week vacation EVER we had to scramble and pull the apartment together for the arrival of the 'rents.

I have to say that I have won the in-law lottery. I couldn't ask for more accepting loving people in my life. They made my fiance who he is, without a doubt. They were with us until this week, off and on. They cleared out most of their possessions, and helped me to begin decorating. They also offered me a lot of support and kept my fiance distracted while I studied.

I successfully completed my MSW and passed my LSW. For those of you who aren't familiar, an MSW is a Master of Social Work. I graduated Fordham University in NY with a 4.0 in a little over a year. I'm sort of overwhelmed and a little impressed that I pulled it off. On September 17th I passed my licensure examination for the state of New Jersey. Two major hurdles to job security have been met!

My fiance completed his Bachelor's in Computer Science Degree. He has just completed an internship for the Department of Defense. Anyone who needs a computer guy, let us know. He'd love to get off the interview circuit and I'd love to continue to be able to pay my rent!

In the mix of all this there have been a smattering of family events. A new cousin of mine was baptized, another cousin received her first holy communion. There have been birthdays and wedding showers, and Sunday dinners galore. There is never a dull moment in Casa de Shoedrop.

Right now I'm enjoying reconnecting with my friends and decorating my apartment. It's starting to feel like home.

I'm going to try hard to keep this blog updated. Not for my adoring few but for myself. Nobody wants to hear me whine anymore :) And believe me, I always have a lot to say.

One thing I'm trying to sort out for myself is the mideast crisis. A friend of mine sums it up like this:
If the Palestinians laid down their weapons there would be more war.
If the Israelis laid down their weapons there would be no Isreal.

The thing is I like to form my own opinions. I'm operating under 30 years of Whitelandia brand ignorance. I'd be glad to consider anything anyone has to say on the subject.

I'm also looking for a virtual book group. If anyone knows of one or interested in joining one that I may start, let me know.

Caio!
Gracie