I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next month. Everyone told me that a wedding is stressful and i said NAH we love each other. We can't wait to get married. Well now Ian is having a meltdown, my inlaws are arriving this afternoon and my stomach has forgotten how to do everything but void whatever I take in.
I could hold it together if Ian was ok. Every time I look at him I'm wondering if he's wondering if he made a mistake. I don't want to ask him because 1) I'm afraid of the answer and 2) if you don't acknowledge bad things they go away. Hrm...that might be why shoes are always hitting me in the head!
I guess we can add to this that I picked now to clean out my closets with my therapist and Ian is considering having us move. Like this month. I think there's a limit to the amount of stress one body can handle. Certainly a limit to the amount one soul can handle.
Work is stable and that's about the only thing right now. I almost wish it was chaotic to distract me from the horror of a roller coaster my life has become.
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